Written by Hi! This is the summary of days 31 to 40 where we discuss the right to land, access to food and water, fair wages, self-censorship and cancel culture, billionaire bosses, my swollen lymph node, reputation economies, alternative currencies and bubbles, rights to life, solar generators, blood, National Housing Trust, Permaculture’s slave problem, weird rituals, and 1.5 to Stay Alive.
I’m Aleya, and I founded Fastfrwrd.info. I have been carrying out a Carbon Neutral Strike where I avoid oil, gas and plastic as much as I can. I have been posting daily updates since Earth Day, April 22, 2025 on this process as well as with my musings about the world as it is now.
Transcript:
Day 31: Went grocery shopping got driven to and from in a local taxi driver’s car.
Day 32: I got vegan sriracha mayo and cereal. Took a taxi back to my home with another lady.
Day 33: Today at work was good. I knew what I was doing. 4 months? Various levels of activity leading to this finally being the point.
I wish I got paid more. That’s the only thing. Apparently it’s above minimum wage!!! What?!
Day 34: Land is a right. Access to food is a right. Access to water is a right.
Land: we have bodies and they have to be somewhere. We must be allowed a place to exist as a body occupying a square footage. You have no choice about being a body that needs to stand somewhere. Land is a right in order to properly afford each body a place to stand.
Food: In order to perform civic duties, the citizen must fuel itself. In order to earn money to eat food the citizen must also fuel itself. Therefore it requires fuel to get more fuel in all senses. Food is our fuel. Having it nearby, growing for free or cheap, the cost of a seed and some compost would ensure everyone can enjoy this right.
Community gardens. Free or cheap. We need those.
Access to water: Along with food-fuel the human machine requires watering. Many creatures need water. Searching it out and harvesting it should not only belong to the state but the power to secure water should be a decentralized process or at least decentralizable whereby citizens can secure their own water should they wish.
Day 35: My avocado is ripe! Overripe even. Dinner tonight will be a lovely salad with avocadooooo and lime juuiiceee myaaaammmm. Yesterday was mostly carbon neutral.
My bus driver just told me I smell good!! People this is huge, I decided to follow a dream I had about not bathing to figure out for once why it might be that I’m not fussed about showers. It was a cheap thrill to just walk around unbathed and rebuff advances but also just follow a dream I had that was absolutely affordable to achieve. I did it three months in a row until the pushback got to be a bit much each time, i would shower.
The first time i showered i bawled. It was so important to me. To just have a dream. Share the dream with the world. And make it come true. And i also had started smelling like really good to myself in the heart of my stink aura. I was shocked and I wanted to bottle the smell. I cried when I had to stop, lol.
Each time I was told to bathe i disobeyed. It was my body. Until it got to be too much by the end of each month.
But yeah. Now i smell good. As naturally as possible.
One thing I did not account for while not showering was how my ass might smell. Fecal matter was likely hanging out unwashed despite best efforts. So the experiment is somewhat unsanitary to repeat. But I did it. I made my dream come true.
Very nice.
Step 1.
The third 666 this year was a phone number. The first one was an employee ID. The second my inbox. The third a Jamaican phone number that ended up not working.
Thems my three 6’s but at the same time there have been plenty great numbers too so I couldn’t let that get in the way.
Why should there be a twist in life and our stories? What if it’s great, then it’s great and it continues to be great and it’s still great after that and it’s always just great so it makes you wanna continue having a great time and it’s great, which is great.
What about that kind of consistency?
I’ve been in situations where it does feel like that: just great all the time. Even when it’s not top tier it’s still way better than anything else you would spend your time on. That’s home.
It can be virtual, it can be at a certain meetup spot. But yeah wherever it is. That’s home So greatness is achievable. But not at these prices.
Thing is even if you save the world as a great leader or something you still have to go back to work the next week. Work is supposed to be the continuous offering of self to another’s or a group’s values, contributing but not sharing as fully in the gains as those at the top who would say, this slight increase in wealth we have experienced is not enough to give to all the employees so it’s better it goes as a bonus to those in charge of keeping things going.
I have never understood the economy. I studied economics in various facets but I’ve just never fully understood how we afford anything given these prices. We need to plant the food closer.
Day 36: My salad was not as awesome as I had hoped because I didn’t have kale. But it means it’s avocado season. So I look forward to kale and avocado soon. Very excited.
Not much to report today.
Day 37: Had a mango for lunch. A big one but yeah a mango. Got it for $200. I’m going to a doctor soon for my lymph node and other concerns.
So I experienced it a while ago. I had a concept and it was flawed and prejudiced and I knew I shouldn’t say it but basically my heuristics had not caught up as to why it was wrong to say and how to say it right. I study how to navigate such concepts. But in that moment I wanted to say something, I knew it was wrong but I physically couldnt say it.
It’s a weird feeling. It felt like an external suppression before I remembered it’s not that deep.
So the left has created an interesting self-triggering weapon that turns the speaker against themselves and forces them into self censorship.
If someone is supposed to hurt in that situation it’s the person with prejudice. But it shouldn’t hurt at all really.
It should be a situation where the person can just say: Something about this is wrong but I’m gonna say it outloud so I can figure out what.
Not a lot of people actually have an education in sociology or unconscious bias. Doesn’t excuse being an asshole. But it will explain why someone may not know why something they want to say is wrong and thus becomes self-suppressed and unable to fully vocalize a notion they have that does not work within a polite society.
When it happened to me I wasn’t scared of being canceled… I already lost most of my social capital. Not much canceling left to do. But I got a glimpse of what that sensation is like as it’s unique because you lose your words. It’s a unique sensation.
That ‘I’ is capitalized in English, centering the individual, do we have some kind of linguistic predetermination leading us into individualized society more readily? Or is it all just same, same but different?
End of day 37:
Wait. I’m surfing on Fastfrwrd on Ecosia. 300% renewable GreenGeeks on 200% renewable Ecosia. That’s a 500% renewable platform. Passively. Passivelyyyy. Come cheat bitch and show your fuckin ass, I don’t care, it’s 500% renewable, let’s go!!!! Change nothing.
Now comes the little dilemma leftover from my time building The Stellar, a game I made that I put a lot of myself into. Instinct Trust, an idea in the game world, the idea of trusting your first instinct as having all your primary calculations on an instinctive level adequately assessed for you to trust your first instincts. If they are telling you something. So then here, the sentence was supposed to be “Change Nothing.” Should I leave that sentence as it first occurred to me: “Change nothing.” Or should it read what I wanted to tack on: “for now.”
Anyway yeah. 500% renewable internet experience. SCHWEET.
Early day 38: Canned ackee in salt water brine, veganaise of choice, salt. Mix into a paste or lumps. Eat with wheat crackers.
This thing. I typed lymps instead of lumps as though I wanted to type lymph node. I am concerned about my lymph node it appears.
In The Stellar the Menonite Impressorium create a Blood Bible. This is a bible comprised of all verses that mention blood.
I like the invention because it’s a simple bit of game lore that can be DIYed very easily. It’s a piece of discussion. Asks the timeless question of who struck the first blow of widespread carnivorous habits. What was the first thing that caused us to have a normalized acceptance of blood as a by-product of Sunday Dinner.
I like these little touches. Make me feel proud 🙂
Afternoon day 38: It’s interesting. The left is protective of animals’ rights to life while the right cares about a foetus’ right to life. There are different positions and perspectivees here but it is about the right to life. The inalienability to a person to have life if they get it or for an animal to have a decent life free of fear of slaughter with room for them to evolve on their own and even approach self determination if we can say that it exists in the animal world.
There are two major different perspectives on when to enforce the concept of a right to life.
Of course there’s even more nuance to this conversation for example assisted suicide, one’s right to opt out of life. That’s another conversation but ultimately these outlier cases also say the same thing: How do we properly calculate how to enforce a right to life? What logical proofs are there available for some objective approach to the topic? What do ancient texts say? What has our experience as a society had to contribute to the issue? What does out gut tell us? What is our background psychology that may bias that outlook?
And on and on.
End 38: I called around and a solar generator is 195k JMD and around the same price for an installation from another company of rooftop solar.
So about $1500 USD. That’s the cost of a hot meal.
The Jamaica National Housing Trust offers 0% interest loans for solar power for those with lower income and a favourable rate for those with higher incomes too!!! But based on my mom’s experience the pace can be slow to get the money freed up.
But cool!
My mom got me a pair of Toms Earthwise!!!! I can walk without guilt!!
In other news:
The CEO of the company I work customer service for is one of the top 300 richest people in the world. They have around 9 Billion in large part due to a 10% share in the popular app I work customer service for. I have less than 5,000 jamaican dollars to last me until my next paycheck.
I am not the only one. Our job is supposed to be entry level. But entry level workers require leisure and the rent prices of safe neighbourhoods and nutritious food to eat. Our salaries are not adequate and my ‘boss’ is one of the richest people in the world while I bring snacks to work to serve as meals.
My rent is high. Not for the area, it’s a steal for the area but it is still high. Any money I make goes on rent, transportation, some food but not enough, my smoking habit which averages at about $500 JMD per day and not much else really.
One of the richest people in the world.
I’m listening to an interview with them and it’s infuriating. PAY ME MOOOOOORE!!!!!!!¡!
I don’t want your so called wisdom.
There is a mindset that really encourages these rich people to think they really are special enough to own all that wealth.
Worship of the entrepreneur. The fallacy that they deserve all the wealth of their company while underpaying those who make the product or service possible. I really don’t like the self-aggrandizing and the fact that wealth of that nature is almost impossible to make carbon negative because it generally is a fact that if you have a lot of wealth it is because you have been most willing to extract beyond what is logical and emit beyond what you can ever recuperate.
You’re rich? Oh cool. You must have stolen so much wealth from your employees just so Forbes can say your name.
I’m really not interested. It’s very rare to find a wealthy person with a negative carbon footprint. I would want to hear from them.
Dear boss. I’m not impressed. You underpay me so you can go on an interview and talk about what makes a great entrepreneur. What makes a ‘great’ entrepreneur is theft and hypocrisy that states countries in the Global South can stand to be paid less because their lives are less expensive.
Another fallacy. We will always stay poor if we charge less for our work and products. I refuse to remain a wage slave. Most people most places would have a lot less problems if they earned an income similar to those in Western Europe. Let me repeat it: we don’t earn enough to move out of bad neighbourhoods sometimes. Because the asssumption is that we need less than others and we can get by on less. And that’s all they can afford.
What is this fallacy that says we need less money in the Global South? The things we buy all tend to serve similar purposes so why is a European person given more wealth to work with when the world itself is expensive. And let’s not forget the plastic we have to buy versus safe materials for those with more wealth.
What if the customer service employee wishes to travel? What if they want to buy a house? A car?
The customer service employee works full time and cannot give their full attention to anything else. We do get to contribute to NHT. But it takes time.
My boss very clearly believes their wealth is well-earned from the tone of the interview.
I am concerned that the wealth fallacy will be the end of humanity who can sooner imagine an apocalypse than a world without capitalism and the accompanying CEOs and wealth inequality, etc. And allowing it to happen. It is no longer 1.5 to stay alive, remember? They changed it up because they can sooner imagine future generations of all lifeforms on this planet being jeopardized, sooner see that than trouble for their bottomline.
This is an illusion. My boss owes me money. It’s upsetting. My lymph node is swollen partially due to how I eat which is healthy but not enough. I do smoke and that costs around $500 JMD per day. Maybe I would spend it on after work drinks in another scenario and this would be a perfectly reasonable expense, but $500 JMD cannot buy two drinks. Our lives are not cheap. We are not India where proximity to China and an advantageously large nation-state might mean a lower cost of living. And that, I would argue about as well because it means the worker can only enjoy a relatively decent life in their borders but nowhere else with a more expensive currency. We need better and equal pay.
Made a salad: one can broad or butter beans drained, one can sweet corn drained, one can mixed veg drained, cucumber chunks, olives and vegetable oil and veganaise added and stirred.
Day 39: Ok so there’s a guy who i knew wanted to date me but i didnt want to date him. Anyway so i met up with him New Year 2023/24. Or january 1st 2024 actually. And I said something that was going on in my head as a result of writing ‘The Stellar.’ I said it felt like i had to masturbate to save the world by capturing the energy of the night to finalize this project I had been doing. Like that would be the best way I could recover the night after not being in the mood to be around people while feeling more attuned wherever Good Vibes could be found. I had been sexually harrassed a bit. And then when i told him that, that i needed to end the year with a sexual act and i may just need to settle for masturbation. Like it felt important to transform that energy i had experienced all year and then cleanse the new year. he said: ok. So do it right here, right now, let me see it.
So I was offended. This had zero to do with him, he looks like my dad I’m not interested hahahhahha and i held that grudge and found myself yelling at him at his bar in front of everyone months later: ¤You owe me an apology!¤
Oh. I remember why. He kept sitting close to me and I clearly didn’t want that. Clearly. Him stop try eventually. But then as soon as you say not interested but then proceed to still have a sexuality that does not involve this person, they try again because this person thinks anything sexual is an invitation even if it’s not about them or having to do with them.
But i was about to forgive him today thinking, he was being supportive in a way?
Then I remember the sitting close thing.
Permaculture has a slavery problem. It cannot function it seems without volunteers? It can’t seem to work without free labour?
I’ve done it because I did not have money to pay people and I was working free too.
But, and here is where the whole begins to blend: There is still a slavery problem if the Permaculturalists themselves are wage slaves who cannot afford the help they need and therefore make use of alternative currency.
I experienced alternative currencies in a more organic method than crypto back in the day, adopting Couchsurfing, Airbnb, Workaway.info where reputation is the currency.
And reputation economies have bubbles (if that’s the correct term, I don’t care enough about econ to find out).
During COVID nobody cared who you were, where you were from, what you did, what other people think of you, no one gives a shit. Stay out of my house. That was it. You know. The bubble burst. And we see that lots of things can jeopardize a reputation’s value even when you’ve done nothing.
Reputation Economies also have flaws.
I stayed at an Airbnb in Colombia in Bogota where I was studying Permaculture at the Universidad Nacional and at Workaway projects and couchsurfing with interesting people. At some point, not sure when but I rented an Airbnb and the place had not been cleaned. There was hair all over the bed. And an oily texture to the bedsheets.
I didn’t know my rights so I just accepted it. It was my birthday and I invited some couchsurfers over to my Airbnb to celebrate. I also invited a guy who I had met through Couchsurfing and had an ok date with. I wanted to get laid for my birthday.
There were more people than anticipated and it did turn into a party and I enjoyed we were about 10 max. My German housemate had left at this point. But the Couchsurfer date guy started telling this Dutch couchsurfer who I had befriended all about what a slut I was.
He stayed over just like the other party people insisted on staying over instead of going home because it was late. Things were getting out of control and one of the couchsurfer girls said that the guy who I wanted to date was ¤Un tonto!¤
They stayed over, maybe to protect me now I think about it. Oh my god. The guy who i wanted to date was in my room in my hairy oily bed insisting that I should suck him off. He basically embarrassed me into it by being loud and the walls were terribly thin. So he intimidates me into giving him a blowjob and starts to take a video. I stopped immediately and wanted him to go home and leave me alone.
He left the next day with everyone else and I got a bad Airbnb review from the Host and from then on I only ever hosted on Airbnb.
I did not leave a review for the Couchsurfer guy. At that time I could be embarrassed by things. Embarrassed into sex. Now. I got for months without a proper shower if I want because it’ll help me think better, despite other opinions and jeers. I believe it was exactly the costless lesson I needed to learn in approaching interactions tinged with discomfort and lack of consent, to never be embarrassed into sex again if possible.
Get over embarrassment.
Fuck off my body.
Also the fact that everyone in that situation is so broke they can’t afford to leave cause the night taxis are expensive.
But beautiful miracle: he, the guy, took the picture of our party. I don’t know where he is, what he’s doing, what he looks like really, but I dunno. He had to beg a slut to suck him off.
I recorded and sang “Don’t Touch My Hair” by Solange after that incident on my birthday, shot by that other Dutch couchsurfer guy. I got a bad comment and made it private.
I think that’s when I stopped making my vlogs? I stopped filming after leaving Popayan, Colombia.
And years later I was running from a dangerous situation and needed a last minute place to stay while I figured myself out. I reached out to the Dutch guy to see if he had a last minute couch, he replied then ghosted.
Life in the Reputation Economy…
Actually. I could sign up for a local credit union to get 195k to buy a solar generator. I want a Jackery solar generator, that was the first one I ever saw I think. I mean I have a job I should be able to get money from the credit union for that. Very cool.
That’s day 39.
Edit: I did use Airbnb again as a guest, in Portland in a board house on the beach. It was amazing!!! It was my introduction to Portland which is my favourite parish and I met some cool people!!!
Edit Dwce Dew Dec lol 27 2025: I did not leave the guy who insulted me a reference.
Day 40: The Hunger Games. It’s a clock. First flood season in europe then wildfire season in North America then hurricane season in the tropics. A clock.
So that story has some truth.
On another note: my boss could give 1 Billion toward paying all the employees their salary just from their wealth they could employ 55,555 employees at $1,500 USD a month.
They can afford to increase our salary, it just feels big because you put a B after the number and lower the boss’ wealth by 1/9th which they would find excessive unless they were to count the national security that made it possible, all the public schooling of all the people in the nation-state to support fluid transmission of the company’s initiative.
I spoke sharply about my boss. Because I felt personally affected. I do not however have any animosity. It is not necessary. The facts are as they are. Pay for the public education of your customers. Pay for the roads that transport your goods. Pay for the utility infranstructure. Pay for the air quality that is protected by environmental agencies when you build your headquarters in the good area. Pay your employees so they can self-determine just like you. Pay fair wages and fair taxes. The wages should go up because modern life is not affordable and we have to change how modern life works rapidly if we ever have a chance of trying for 1.5 to stay alive. To stay alive people!! Stay alivee!!!!!
Don’t you feel that?! Feel it people!!! Feel something. 1.5 to stay alive! Feel that!
There are free clinics and I was supposed to go to one this weekend. I didn’t go because it was out of town and I was tired plus I didn’t want the emissions to deal with. Health issues are the exception to the rules of the strike. Do whatever for your health. Well not whatever but you know. The strike doesn’t count if you’re ill.
My system has been fighting off this infection for weeks now.
Edit 07/11/25: Btws, the reason I did not want to bathe is because each time I am adding plastic to the water. “Scanning electron microscopy coupled with energy-dispersive X-ray spectroscopy analysis identified particles that have elemental compositions like that of PVC further strengthening the conclusion that MPs were leaching from the PVC pipe.” https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1944398624016011