Written by Hi! This is the summary of days 111 to 120 where we discuss inventions and archive footprints, wind-powered stop-sign flags that capture wind from passing cars, weed and hypocrisy, communal benefits at work, levels of reason, desire to break out full Carbon Neutral mode, the repo man/person, CW: suicidal ideation, songs to say goodbye, quitting university, Tuvalu going under water, friends racism and buried memories while sorting my trash for like literally 2 minutes.
I’m Aleya, and I founded Fastfrwrd.info. I have been carrying out a Carbon Neutral Strike where I avoid oil, gas and plastic as much as I can. I have been posting daily updates since Earth Day, April 22, 2025 on this process as well as my musings about the world as it is now.
Website: https://fastfrwrd.info
Music (also on Fastfrwrd): https://aleya.bandcamp.com
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Transcript: End day 110: How much paper or online archives these lawyers use?When you think of invention people have just mindlessly pelted things together with no consideration for what comes next.But I’m repeating myself now. No need for that.Something that uses wind currents to determine when it’s time for the ‘light to change’ on the road. Instead wind-streams from the flow of cars is captured to operate the ‘stoplight’ or roadflag.Bounced the idea and roundabouts are a more efficient cure. But still! That was exciting to think about!Need to research solar capacity.The windstream machines could also light the night and measure data we choose such as temperature monitoring.Btws. The poorer we all get while wealth is being syphoned is the more sympathy for the masses we have. You consolidate an opponent when you withdraw into polarization.You’re smoking weed. You’re a part of it. You think you’re doing something good but it’s powered by something bad.You see how that works? That’s happened all my life since a teen perhaps. I would see hypocrisy in my own actions all the time. I thought it was a joke between me and god.The Daily Show points out hypocrisy because they do it to themselves and think the benefits outweigh the costs although the meaning was reversed in my head. I would say… it might be something I’m rejecting. Guys I’m learning the ‘Instinct Trust’ thing slowly to see how real it can be. I zonked out on it before it took a lot out of me.Anyway. They point out hypocrisy because as comedians who have been booed before for sure they have learned humility and longterm vision of success. Hypocrisy is important to recognize in identifying unifying visions of life and the world. We have a commonality, we all stem from this planet.It literally just burps out food for us. The least we can do is not play sadistic games with our food.Guys, even though it’s a free zone, we could choose solidarity economics to share the little we have. We have to act while it’s still nice. Like botox.Facelift time. Jaaaaaaa.We do have a lot of communal benefits but this is not the best we can do. Leaving paper and digital trails everywhere… it’s too much. We keep the receipts for the taxes.Let’s stop borrowing from the future when it is this uncertain. We need debt forgiveness.Frozen mango and frozen pineapple is a simple raw snack. It’s a natural popsicle. Not carbon neutral due to freezer tho. It’s not my fridge, I can’t let it mold unused.Day 111: There are a few different levels or reasoning.There’s the inability to reason, subconsciously learned reasoning, actively learned reasoning and copying and then finally, a strong internal reasoning capacity based on study, self improvement and practice as well as training one’s instinct and paying attention to one’s emotions, biases and hypocrisies to ferment the reasoning process.I have spoken to learned reasoning and copying people who know the talking points and echo them without much subjective addition, so not 1st hand knowledge but an echoing of opinions and safe rationales.However, more adventurous is the last stage. Strong internal reasoning capacity means you can take information from near anywhere and process it adequately in a way that likely helps you to keep living, pass on your genes and complete a successful evolutionary cycle.I have to take a taxi for 2 minutes to go home from my local bar. If people had more money they would turn to crime less, and i would be able to walk home at night instead of emitting. This whole setup doesnt know anything but pollution and the entire issue is systemic and interconnected.Another 666 at work. I took a taxi from work, knowing I couldn’t afford it, I just wanted to go. It broke down half way. I now have enough energy to wait for the bus.There is a political rally today for the capitalist Labour Party in the city. This is considered a dangerous thing in my country because politics can get violent sometimes.End day 112: I keep seeing flashes of me walking to work. I thought ok maybe I’ll have to just do everything carbon neutral outside of work. I could have planted stuff and reaped stuff by now. It’s been 8 months at this h(i)/o/use. I didnt want to buy the plastic/-bagged soil/. But now I have more of it than I want /of plastic/. I didn’t want to deal with the ants and the rocky terrain. I could have asked the yard man and added it to my rent. We could have worked something out maybe I don’t know.But I can still start although it’s hurricane season.So let’s study the above. I said hi-use. So am I criticizing my smoking habit for preventing me from planting? Part of the swirl of reasons?There’s a song: Nobody want to plant the corn, everybody want to raid the barn. I don’t want to plant without friends it just feels too lonely. I’ve planted before it’s not new so it would be new to do it with people. That or mechanized with junk. Something that only requires a push of a button.I just thought: Juneplum would have kept me company. It would have been so fun.Another 666 at work guys!Democracy- dem-ocracy. The rule of ‘them’ not just ‘her/him’.Day 113:On Capitalism’s Defense SystemCapitalism has its own defense mechanism. Repo men and women. I have had two incidents with them. 1 when I ran up my phone bill while my mom was in Egypt during the revolution and we were wondering if she needed medical care due to unrelated issues. There was a cancer scare you see. So it was a veey hard time and i knew I ran up the bill but the notifications about the increasing interest on the fee were arriving to another address than where I was living.[Edit 08/04/26: Further on this from the future. It was because I did not understand and was afraid of the bureaucracy. You are supposed to have a specific address but I was not living with the person who filed for me, I was at uni in a different city. But for paperwork I would use the official address and I did not want to get in trouble for not using an official address. I did not understand how it worked and I was a bit scared of bureaucracy because that was part of what rendered me housing insecure in France where you have to have a job to get a work permit, and a work permit to get a job.]The repoman came to my door for my things.Another time I failed to pay the monthly 200 euro for insurance in Germany. A man showed up to my door to collect.They have armed security at their gates and at the refilling of money machines.On ‘Escapist Talk’ and the Closing Song, ‘The Great Escape’.After the repoman came I grew anxious that I would end up homeless again, this time without my mom’s help. I would have panic attacks, I don’t know if before or after.I thought about suicide as the diet I used to power cycling to university or, more often, cafes and parties, was just spaghetti with cream spinach and cheese or bacon and ketchup sauce with spaghetti and cheese.I was also broke despite working as the law forbade earning more than a certain amount as a student.I left Europe for many reasons and had to fight to quit my studies. I thought I was dying and in a way I was. I was sporadically suicidal when I couldn’t distract myself with a party or having friends nearby. I felt unlovable. I didn’t think myself especially desirable in any way.I left Belgium and went home to Jamaica. I made the album ‘Escapist Talk.’The closing song: The Great Escape released me from the anger I had felt at the whole world for making my life the way it was.I was constantly worried I would become bipolar like my father and what that would mean.The school therapist had told me my cure was in therapy but then my insurance did not cover it.My mother was perhaps ill and had left revolutionary Egypt when I begged her to, but then the bills I incurred from that incident meant no matter how much I worked on the student visa limit of hours (I just worked under the table after a while because honestly) I was unable to catch up on those bills and I felt defeated and insecure and unsafe.I left. And I eventually made the song for my friends who I would not be able to see because of an incident with a classmate from my uni days who came to visit soon after catching me and mother at our weakest and creating a scenario where she forbade me bringing friends to her home.I fell out of touch with everyone. But ‘Friendly Fire’ is a song based on my friends. So is ‘The Great Escape’.I didn’t really talk to them anymore after I left but I think the song was actually enough. Sometimes that’s all you need to do before closing a chapter.114: The island of Tuvalu’s leader announced that they would be going underwater by doing a speech in the rising water a while ago. The strange thing about the speech was their leader’s smile while giving the speech.It was strange. Now the island has been abandoned and around 11,000 people have had to find a new landmass to (p)/l/ive on as theirs is no more.I was very confused why their leade/r/ gave the speech with a smile, trying to soften the blow and not scare people. Maybe he should have been angry. Maybe he should not have smiled. Maybe it needed more drama for us to understand.Source: https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://d1i4t8bqe7zgj6.cloudfront.net/thumbnails/6189fdbd46e0fb00015dd54d/2021-11-09T043543Z_1_OVF2VT0SH_RTRMADC_0_CLIMATE-UN-TUVALU-ROUGH-CUT.jpg&w=1440Planetary Decline communication should reflect better the circumstances by outlining the domino effect, butterfly effect, the chain of decline.About ‘Friends’ RacismI’m so surprised more people don’t talk about the Friends episode where Joey and Ross both like Gabrielle Union and at the end of the episode an angry Joey, trying to tear down Ross’s confidence so that he doesn’t get the girl, Joey yells at Ross: ‘Monkey Lover!’Presumably because Ross had a pet monkey. But in that context given that she’s the first black love interest in the long series, the optics are off.About ConvenienceWe just have to make ecology the most convenient choice. Take the example of piracy versus subscription hubs like Netflix and Spotify. Make it just too convenient. It does not deny the reality that we need to make the change as soon as possible.Day 115: um… yeah not much, it’s a good day, found a hidden weed bag. Yes plastic, yes gas for lighting, yes paper for smoking.It’s a problem. It’s too much consumption.Weed is great.But I really really want to do it clean. I could have maybe grown two harvests of weed by now if I had the strength really after going against my instincts all day and doing a job I am squadering my talents by participating in. I’m getting better at it, I was good at first too.Anyway, that’s it for now.End day 115: People don’t like it when you tell t(g)hem they did something wrong, because of Pop Psychological Realism we (-self-fulfil[-ling-] prophecies of-) find reasons for why what we are doing (-are-)is correct or at least justified.My subcons(-x-)cious, she has some smaller confines to work with (-d-)for physical communi(-i-)cation. The keys /on the keyboard/ have to be close together and then at other times the tech talks.Day 116:Again not much to report. Just going out and working. Have taken to dancing with the moon so if I get my sights on it tonight I’ll probably be doing that at my neighbourhood hangout spot.Tonight i just thought, everybody should be looking at me and then they did!6’es.End Day 116: I thought something about a tongue then the song playing that I’ve never heard before said tongue.Body is jokes.Student visa restrictions, the main idea is you’re not supposed feel like you’re one of us. You’re supposed to come for purpose, you can’t just live. You can’t exercise citizen rights to self determine. You must be there for a purpose and fulfil that purpose to remain.Day 117: There’s a horse rampa(m)nt statue with an enormous penis in halfway tree, kingston. There’s a female counterpart across from it and I now need to find out if she has an enormous…I say “hectic” a lot to my customers. I didn’t realize it had more interpretations. The tic, countdown to heck, hell. Hell on earth. Not about the bible but about signs of planetary decline that many humans have described through science AND religion and philosophy and literature and media etc.We are concerned with our survival and ‘hectic’ captures the concept well, in this case a con- on purpose.118: My song ‘Snug’My song structures are often ‘A, B, C, B, D.’A – Aleya – be CBD.You can double check. Thanks for the streams in advance.Day 119: I’m waking up more readily now. At least past two days.The goal is to wake up excited for the day and not choose sleep over waking life.Day 120 part one: sorting trash and chatting. Not transcribed.Day 120 part 2 about confession, secrets, trauma, buried memories, homelessness and the beginning of my friendlessness.The gist: Trying to reuse Domino’s boxes for buying produce and packing them. Don’t know what to do with pizza crust. Can’t compost it. Might have to make a regular trash bag for that stuff. Taking an early break and looking for a mango. Find it. It’s reasonably ripe based on fact I like mango just about ripe to be tart [called a ‘turn’ mango in Jamaica]. I drop it in a dirty bowl. Mango time! I make fun of myself for only stacking pizza boxes. I sing my mango song. ‘Mango, mango, mango… mango, mango, mango… I want a turn mango, turn mango, turn mangoooo!’ It was the song I sang at the mental hospital in Jamaica. Male patients and nurses would go pick them and I would sing for them.I eat and get annoyed at noise because god forbid a human sits and does nothing, always got to be buzzing.Then a smoke break because that 5 minutes of work was real hard.I then ask, do youbguys ever think about confession being good for the soul? I think it’s based on a human thing. You have negative, unvoiced things that go unsaid. Getting it off your chest it defragments like a computer. One of my big secrets was being homeless.I was out partying with classmates from high school, I started crying about my past when someone upset me. We were between houses in France as a tween/teenager.Sometimes we would ride the bus all night, we would sneak into the metro, we would go to the FNAC, a media store and watch stuff during the day in summer. Slept in the church, slept in the hallway of someone whose building code we knew. Weird body stuff like, where do you pee? Where do you poop? You don’t poop, and you pee yourself.Stuff like that. And I can talk about it now but I didn’t talk about it for a long time because it implicates more than me and maybe that person doesn’t want that story told. Then at 17, 18, I started crying like crazy (sorry for the word) at the club. They asked what was wrong my friends and I remembered a buried memory from my childhood. Something sexual that I got beat until I peed myself over. I had skipped 2 grades in primary school and this guy was more sexually mature. We were messing around after school, not sure what because I was sexually curious as a child, I saw a porno that made me tingle down there and I had to pee [but also ky best friend as a kid would make her dolls have sex due to living in a small house so don’t get all high and mighty about porn even though there is no ethical porn under Capitalism.] I then ramble about pee and parts.I had a buried memory. Didn’t talk about homelessness because it implicates more than me and maybe the person doesnt want me to share.So i said somebody touched me when i was a kid but I said the wrong name. I told my grandmother the same and she said that person did not touch you. And I just thought, how can you be so sure. I was kind of upset because something happened.I cried for a long time at the club with my friends and that was the last time we spoke so my friendlessness as an adult is not out of the blue. I’m a friendable person. I said that, then years later I got back in touch with my grandmother and said I don’t think it was her who touched me.So confession when I said I lied, exaggerated or misinterpreted.And she said ‘yeah I know it wasn’t true’ [08.04.26: She actually said to me recently that she hated the person after I told her and she did believe me]Getting it off my chest I can talk about it now. I did what I had to do. I joined Couchsurfing. I joined Workaway. I learned how to build houses. As simply and naturally as possible.In theory, I know how to build a house. In theory.You can therapeutize yourself. The reputation bubble burst tho.