Written by July 13 2026
My net signal is giving issues still but I refuse to use Elon Musk’s wifi. I feel horrible. And the only thing I can think of with the most immediate effect to counteract it is to sing a really catchy song.
I’m not in the mood but thinking of the potential of earthquakes and hurricanes and heatwaves, I have no choice. Gun to my head. Sing or die.
July 14 2026
3:11 am
I am trying to record this song in one sitting, one evening. But I’m workshopping every section to be catchy and the chorus is resisting catchiness very hard.
3:33 am
Sort of only updating because of the time, 3’s. Lol. But. I quite like the sections that are recorded, just need a catchy summer reggae or dancehall vibe for the chorus. I have so far used Pose by Rihanna and Rasta by Valiant and they fit. Haaha. But I don’t want to bite. Want something unique.
6:19 am
More or less done and pleased. Now im going for a walk.
Lyrics:
In the hot hot heat
Losing sleep, sweating them beads
I’m up
In the hot hot heat
Summer just seems to drag on drag you like a truck
In the hot hot heat
Losing sleep, telling them peeps whats up
In the hot hot heat
Permanent feat to be prevented by our luck
Gimme likkle bit a wata
Gimme like bout a quarter
Gimme likkle bit a fan now
Ventilate with my hand now
You know what to do when the riot’s on
Because you and all your crew have the lights gone again
You know what to do to survive it all because
You and all your crew have a fighting song
In the hot hot heat
Phones get weak, you can’t speak
Its tough
In this hot hot heat
Everything ceases and i think that that’s enough
In the hot hot heat
Crops dont peak, harvest dried up stuff
In the hot hot heat
Everyone sees the truth of nature’s rebuff
Gimme likkle bit a wata
Gimme like bout a quarter
Gimme likkle bit a fan now
Ventilate with my hand now
You know what to do when the riot’s on
Because you and all your crew have the lights gone again
You know what to do to survive it all because
You and all your crew have a fighting song
And its something to rise up about
And there’s plenty of reasons to shout
And it’s not gonna take that long
Cause we made it til now, we’re strong
Too hot now
Dont like it when its happening to you now
the icicle thats melting into soup now
It might feel like its lights out for all of you now
Dont fall out
The human is the survival machine and
We’ve beaten bigger odds and thats for real
Ooo ah
Sticky icky
Eenie minie moe
Never seen it get so hot
You’re sweating from your toes
If you try to go to sleep
Better let em know
Wake up with some icicles
And seven feet of snow
Time to rise up
Now its time to go
Telling all your governments
You Better let em know
Climate change is serious
Could be our biggest foe
Still lived this long
It’s an opportunity to grow
And the licks them hard
And mi drop my guard
Expensive is the feeling
This heat just aint appealing
Got some doubts within my head
Oh dread
Fear the future fear the now
Getting out just tell me how
Say im a survival machine
Made it this far, i can green.
Say you never know you get back weh you give
Say a so you and your people waan live
But we keeping hype and ever positive
Look how long mankind been a live
All they do is give us more and more plastic to eat
Plastic wrapping, plastic clothes, plastic shoes on our feet
Should we riot in the riot in the riot in the street?
Riot in the riot in the street?
Humanity’s been going, we’re a survival machine
We’ll be damned if the climate ends up as our last defeat
Should we riot in the riot in the riot in the street?
Riot in the riot in the street?
July 15 2026
It’s taking a bit to get back in the habit of daily updates.
I am getting hopeful again with some potential good things happening.
Don’t wanna jinx anything.
July 16, 2026
Almost forgot to update. Recorded with Ariel today, had fun. Also applying for funding opportunities for Fastfrwrd. Not much to update about as yet.
Walked places today.
July 18, 2026
I spent yesterday in the day sleeping and then have been editing and transcribing since yesterday evening. Its just past midnight now.
We have a pretty cool Solarpunk Presents episode coming out and I think if we were to quantify my work i would be earning a decent amount. Funnily enough the episode is about a moneyless world. That’s my life. Ever broke.
I’ve never had money as an adult, even when I won a grant I could spend the money and not have any left. I have never in my life experienced a surplus of funds. I wonder how many of us actually have.
I’ve had too much to eat. Too much to drink. Too much to smoke. Never too much money. Hm. It’s a funny thing that money thing. Anyway. Have an hour of audio left to transcribe then publishing asap cause i like it. This week’s CN strike will be the last of my medicated health break, I’ve been drinking a bunch of bag juice, plastic trash being thrown out. It’s the small things I’ll miss. Bag juice price is up from $50 JMD to $70 JMD. Patty from $300 to $330 I think. Neighbourhood taxi from $500 JMD to $600 or $650 I think. That Strait of Hormuz stuff affects us because of the world’s most horrible neighbour. There was literally a whole book and section of the curriculum about it during my A’levels, “United States in the Caribbean”. Interference and influence and side effects of proximity to the world’s procreated mixed child with a white head.
Anyway. Gotta get back to transcription, this is gonna keep me up. It’s nice that at 0.25x i dont have to start and stop, it can just play and I catch what I catch and elipses to what I don’t. Think you guys will like the episode but feel annoyed at the audio quality because I was in public and my headphones decided not to work.
Ok. I’ll record this then get back to it.
4:59am
I finally finished transcribing, now I have to prepare the Game Kit product that I will link to the episode so I can’t publish until I finish that but I want the episode to be out in the morning so our stats look better within people’s waking hours, you never know when you need to show your stats.
7:31 am
Finally finished. Wow. Guys. This work. Happy work. But work. Please support. <3
20:26
We peaked at 220 downloads in 24 hours for the newest Solarpunk Presents release. I had a happy day, thanks to you guys. Forever grateful. Also i finished my circulation medicine so it’s back to carbon neutral striking but i got a ‘carbin’ typo so maybe that means something.
July 19, 2026
17:58
I found a magazine named Otherside for speculative fiction, non fiction and poetry about queer futures.
I’m writing something for them. I don’t know how it’s gonna end, I just got out of the exposition section into the action and I’m not even sure of the problem my character is facing, just the nature of it. We’ll see!
But if I haven’t acted on my queerness, am I allowed to submit? Of course I know the answer is yes, but I am primarily attracted to men and while my hormones aren’t fully femme, my body is and I like a good penis. I have had crushes on people across the spectrum and identify as pan. I just like people with talent and intellect and good vibes and strong morals. I am always really in love with a new friend or soul mate of some sort, a new person to be my person when we bond over shared art. Every person I have ever allowed to become super influential in my life has always had a bonding moment over shared works of art, Mad Atoms online magazine for my university bestie, Blue Valentine for my mid-twenties besties, and His Dark Materials for my most recent bonding although that one I wasn’t sure if I was experiencing the same emotions. Because of course nothing is easy with the most recent experiences I’ve had.
Sigh.
So I usually hold out for that moment to feel as though I’ve found a soul mate whether friend or lover. But it usually happens with friends. Which might explain why I’m single. That bonding moment where you say everything about a worldview in a word. And you just get each other. Haven’t had a bunch of those. So not a bunch of soul mates. Have to cast a wider net maybe because of that?
I’m pan. I like people, not bodies. But I have also as an adult been mostly with men, like mostly cis het men, and masc presenting enbies in a pinch. It’s kind of habit and familiarity more than anything.
It’s been two years without sex. I don’t fully miss it but I do get lonely for companionship. I realize not going out is most of the time the reason why I’m single, when I go out I get hit on, I find matches etc.
Living in a country with a high murder rate will stop you going out. And you’ll get used to it. Covid will make it worse. But they’re working on the murder rate, it’s just not going to really work, it’s a bandage, not a cure. Our issues are systemic and that hasn’t changed. I still have to be inside by night or have a ride figured out. As a lunarpunk, I am a creature of the night. I come alive at night. I’m a great dancer and used to be a great drinker, I get nice not drunk. Nightlife. Love it. Can’t enjoy it because I can’t afford the safety.
I should be resentful. I am a bit. But most of us are just resigned.
I need to figure out my lovelife soon. And it’s more than likely going to be a man. But soul mates aren’t just hanging about. You find them swiftly in a new environment, that sharp eye and heightened state. Or you find the nice people and cotch for a bit until the soulmates appear or see you as their own.
There’s a certain staleness after you’re no longer new or semi new. Same on dating apps. Algorithms shuffle you in the back and decide your fate.
I have used dating apps to death. During covid I would swipe for fun. I’ve swiped more than reasonable or healthy. I don’t necessarily want to go back there.
While my physical needs are on ice, my social amd intellectual needs are starved for a partner that is as fun to be around as myself and smarter than me at least in some things so that I’m stimulated and learning.
I get a bit sad sometimes. Of course I can always adopt if I get a stable income to pass screenings. But I really wanna push out a squishy mini-me with my bipolar schizo-affective genes and see if we can improve upon the formula for a pretty rad brain type with modern approaches to neurodiversity.
I’m not happy that I have to be medicated through pregnancy now that I’m not just bipolar anymore. It was possible to be natural then. But dopamine is necessary for a will to live. Not safe to go off the medication.
This all seems so very curable, how stupid are human beings that they haven’t figured this out as yet? I don’t often use the word but I use it now because the forerunner for a cure is Elon Musk’s disgusting neuralink. It’s proposed as a usage. I can’t deal.
Anyway. That’s today. I gotta get back to writing this story, the submission deadline is soon. I still don’t know what’s troubling my character. We’ll see how long it takes to resolve this block.
Hope everyone is doing ok in the heat
20:57
I’ve finished writing! And I like the story! It’s not much about queerness, just queer people doing things, which I think is alright! 🙂